The word "stoner" is commonly used to describe someone who smokes marijuana or hash on a regular basis. Stoners consider themselves to be friendly, fun-loving, non-judgemental, and harmless. Rarely mentioned, however, is how lazy, worthless, annoying, flakey, boring and unproductive a good 95% of them are. A common phrase used among stoners is "I don't need weed to have fun", yet strangely you never see them go a day without it.
Stoners, in their "enlightened" state, are the first to speak out against controversial issues and injustices but the very last to ever lift a finger
over it. Most (but not all) tend to resemble the character Shaggy
from the cartoon show Scooby Doo in either looks or general behaviour. A stoner will tell you how great a sense of humor he has, but usually laughs at things that are not truly that funny in a sober state of mind.
When confronted about their overall worthlessness, stoners vehemently deny that smoking weed makes them losers or hinders success in life. While some successful people DO indeed smoke marijuana, they are usually not actually stoners, meaning they partake only occassionaly and not as a lifestyle. The few stoners who ARE successful and live fulfilling lives are a rare breed, and not truly representative of what it is to be a stoner. Unbeknownst to them, there is a difference between a pot smoker and a full-out stoner.
If you are a stoner, you should be ashamed of yourself and extinguish your joint on your own exposed flesh immediately. Aim higher, get a girlfriend
, find a new hobby, and get a decent job. Then when you discover better things in life, you'll finally figure out why everyone looked down on you.
Stoners believe that smoking weed likens them to famous figures such as Jimi Hendrix, 50 Cent, Ali G, Johnny Knoxville, Bill Clinton, Cheech & Chong and Bob Marley. Guess what? It doesn't.