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12 definitions by Derik

 
1.
n. Physiologically similar to hemoglobin, emoglobin is characteristically considered to be caused by a base-pair mutation in the genotypes of "highly emotional" teens. This mutation generally expresses itself in teen and pre-teen years, which will cause the affected to wear primarily black, dye their hair, and cut themselves.

Instead of carrying Oxygen from pulmonary circulation and delivering it to needed tissues throughout the body, emoglobin carries feelings of sorrow, loneliness and angst.
Rachel ended up in the hospital last night because her emoglobin got the best of her and she spilled too much out of her wrists.
viết bởi Derik 29 Tháng mười, 2006
 
2.
Fuzzy is the feeling after a night of drinking the next morning. It can best be described as knowing you're not hung over, but still not feeling quite 100%.

Extra long showers usually help somewhat, but nothing but time will cure your uneasiness.

If you think of a "buzz" as a pre-drunk state, being fuzzy is the post-drunk state. The outlying cause is the alcohol still being worked out of your system long after you've awaken, one molecule at a time.
*in class the next morning*

kid1: "Dude I'm mad fuzzy."

kid2: "Me too."
viết bởi Derik 20 Tháng chín, 2005
 
3.
Also commonly known as the Infield Fly, the Janitor's Nightmare consists of taking a shit in a urinal. Although complicated, the logistics are somewhat reasonable when rationed with.

It helps to accomplish the J.N. with a lookout, to keep an eye out for other possible rest-roomers as well as said janitor.
kid1: "Hey man, you got 20 minutes? I need a favor."

kid2: "Depends... what?"

kid1: "Janitor's Nightmare, 3rd floor?"

kid2: "Done."
viết bởi Derik 21 Tháng chín, 2005
 
4.
It's like omg, but better, because it involves gophers. See omgooses. If you're not the goose-type, try a gopher. Gopher's may be a rodent and or pest, but that gopher was one hell of a character in Caddyshack I.
kid1: "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!"

kid2: "OMGOPHERS!"
viết bởi Derik 04 Tháng mười, 2005
 
5.
Occurs while taking a shit, when by all necessary definitions you have completed your task, but want remain on the bowl to finish the current chapter of the book/newspaper/novel you are reading. Usually last between 2-5 minutes.

Most common in suspense novels and other mysteries.
Roommate 1- "You almost ready dude, we're gunna be late. First pitch is in 20 minutes."
Roommate 2- "Yeah man hold on, quick pre-game dump."

*10 minutes later*

Roommate 2- "Alright let's go"
Roommate 1- "WTF man, you said quick."
Roommate 2- "Didn't account for the chapter delay. That Dan Brown is amazing."
viết bởi Derik 13 Tháng chín, 2005
 
6.
The ascending scale at which men judge other women.

1 being the lowest value, 10 being the highest.

Can be affected and altered due to many different situations, including alcohol, various hallucinogens, states of depression, horniness, et cetera.

Interestingly enough, the scale will vary from male to male.
"Yo check out that 8.7 man, 1 o'clock."

"All's I see is a 6.5 on my 10 Point Scale, chach.
viết bởi Derik 31 Tháng tám, 2005
 
7.
v. pronounced "brun'-ding"
the act of man-to-man touching, albeit (usually) unintentionally, which spurs an uncomfortable feeling.
Common examples include forearm touching in movie theatres and class rooms when a armrests are not wide enough to be shared easily.

In extreme circumstances, the ever inappropriate grazing of back of the hand/knuckles across a man's ass or crotch in a crowded hallway, subway, or other "high traffic areas;" in this extreme case, it is pronounced, "broon'-ding."
"Dude kept brunding me so we went outside and I smoked dat bitch."

"Serves him right, shit'll get you killed."
viết bởi Derik 29 Tháng tám, 2005