A pure skank-hole
in Stirling, central Scotland where the scum of the earth
is a list of requirements you must
adhere to to live here;
1 - be incredibly ugly with
little or no teeth
2 - be pregnant by the time
they are 17, unmarried and unaware who the father could be,
3 - wear Rangers
football shirts and gold chains (from Argos)
4 - smoke while pregnant! preferably Regal kingsize
5 - be a heroin
addict (preferably whilst pregnant)!
6 - wear
15 sovereigns on their
fingers at all times.
7 - shout and swear in the street, even at their
8 - wear their
slippers to the off licence
to buy Buckfast
9 - be on benefits (otherwise you are considered
10 - get a coloured tattoo on their
ankle of a dolphin, rose or Winnie the Pooh.
11 - be called Carolann, Chelsea, tammy-Lee, chantelle, chanel, Diane, lee, Kelsey, etc etc
12 - name their
child Paris, Jordan, keyliegh, lesley-ann etc etc
13 - decorate their
the following; sofa from DFS with
wallpaper to clash with
carpet to clash with
curtains and dado rail - all different
types of pattern. the bedroom must
be lilac and silver themed with
peeled off one wall.
1 - be the ugliest, scariest
looking blokes you've ever seen, also with
little or no teeth
2 - have tattoos with
like "Carolann" or "Lee-ann" across their
upper arm indicating
3 - beat their
4 - fight in the street after pub closing time
5 - the minute the sun comes out take their
tops off and show their
disgustingly scrawny bodies to the world, track marks included.
6 - be heroin addicts
7 - drive their
crap cars whilst sitting
so far back and low down it appears they
have removed the front seat and are in fact driving whilst sitting
in the back
8 - must like crap techno music like Bonkers
9 - punch walls
latest 15 year old girlfriend breaks up with them (probably cause she's on benefits and figures she'll get more money and a better house if she claims to be on her own.
10 - generally be scum
Chad the American tourist "ah isn't Stirling a beautiful place? The Castle, the history, it's truly delightful, look
at those hills!"
Tour guide "not really, just round that corner
is The RapTap and it's the biggest shithole
known to man".