The female is completely egocentric, trapped inside herself, incapable of empathizing or identifying with others, or love, friendship, affection of tenderness. She is a completely isolated unit, incapable of rapport with anyone. Her responses are entirely visceral, not cerebral; her intelligence is a mere tool in the services of her drives and needs; she is incapable of mental passion, mental interaction; she can’t relate to anything other than her own physical sensations. She is a half-dead, unresponsive lump, incapable of giving or receiving pleasure or happiness; consequently, she is at best an utter bore, an inoffensive blob, since only those capable of absorption in others can be charming. She is trapped in a twilight zone halfway between humans and apes, and is far worse off than the apes because, unlike the apes, she is capable of a large array of negative feelings — hate, jealousy, contempt, disgust, guilt, shame, doubt — and moreover, she is aware of what she is and what she isn’t.

Although completely physical, the female is unfit even for escort service. Even assuming mechanical proficiency, which few women have, she is, first of all, incapable of zestfully, lustfully, tearing off a piece, but instead is eaten up with guilt, shame, fear and insecurity, feelings rooted in female nature, which the most enlightened training can only minimize; second, the physical feeling she attains is next to nothing; and third, she is not empathizing with her partner, but is obsessed with how she’s doing, turning in an A performance, doing a good plumbing job. To call a woman an animal is to flatter her; she’s a machine, a walking sex toy. It’s often said that women use men. Use them for what? Surely not pleasure.
The girly-girls of today are weak little social parasites. A vast majority of internet females match this description with unnerving accuracy.
viết bởi Mustafa Kemal Atatürk 28 Tháng mười hai, 2007
A common kitchen-dwelling Homo sapien, member of the Homo genus of bipedal primates in Hominidae, the great ape family. They have been domesticated by humans and function well in human society, similar to horses and dogs.

They can be trained to fetch refreshments and sam-wiches, which involves leaving their natural kitchen-based habitat.

They are fickle in nature, and have a tendency to make loud high-pitched barks. Some have speculated that it is a form of communication that is as yet unknown.
It is a good idea to set up bear traps in your kitchen, as Females are overpopulated in this area.
viết bởi LaserPhaser 23 Tháng sáu, 2010
The human female specie is a self-praising, self-centered cruel version of the male one. They feel the need to talk alot more about their lives, the need to talk behind their friend's backs and being much more cruel than men in different situations when one needs their help or understanding. Generally fall in love in rich people with money, when claim that the looks don't matter and they're virgins until they get married. They think much more of themselves than they are, when they think much less of others. They expect to be treated like queens when they treat others like crap, and so on.
They often think they're better and smarter than men and do all kinds of feminist organizations to praise themselves when men don't even claim they're the better side, ever.
Male: Please help me...
Female: No! I have my own problems!

Female: Please help me...
Male: Okay, what's the problem?

Female: I HATE ALL MEN!!!

Male: She's really great, I love her.

Female: He's rich! I'll hire someone to kill him and get his money.
viết bởi -_Realist_- 15 Tháng năm, 2007
1. The condition "female" is an unfortinate childhood disease, which can be contracted during the time of conception. This disease is incurable and scars its victims for the entirety of their lives both physically and emotionally. Many scientists argue that this disorder is, while unfortinate and disfiguring to the individual, necissary for the survival of the human species as a whole. With this disfigurement the job of creating and raising a child is forced upon the victim, enabling mankind to continue to survive, but ensuring that considerable pain is caused during both the production of the child and the delivery of the child. This also ensures that the victim's hormonal balence is constantly fluxuating and the victim's instincts are warped as to rob the victim of peace of mind which will supposibly return with the production of a child. Experts report the true result of the production of a child is usually a considerable decrease in the physical strength of the victim and an increased hormonal imbalence. How the victims are so easily fooled by this cruel joke of nature is yet undiscovered.
The social effects of this disease include: a percieved weakness of the victim both physically, mentally, and emotionally by both diseased and unharmed humans; a considerable decrease in percieved ability and talent; a decrease in wages and salaries due to the above; a partial loss of identity resulting from marriage.
The physical and mental effects of this disease include (on average): a substantial decrease in intellectual ability resulting from a smaller brain area and weight; physical fraility and weakness resulting from both a decrease in muscle mass and a tendancy to fast; impeding tumor-like growths on the upper torso during puberty; a decreased pleasure during orgasm in comparison to unharmed humans; a tendancy to converse often about meaningless banter; a painful hormonal eruption approximately once per month; stunted growth; and gullibility.
2. Proof that God does have a sense of humor.
1. Don't laugh at her just because she's in High School and still plays with dolls, man. I mean, she's female.
2. Oww...oh, you made this out of my rib, interesting, thanks God...I want my rib back.
viết bởi Mr. Kemp 02 Tháng năm, 2006
A human, the opposite of a male, that generally should stay in the kitchen and make the males sandwiches.
You're a female, go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwich.
viết bởi madmike141516 26 Tháng hai, 2011
Invented to do all chores that are around the house
Honey(female), could you please make my dinner, do the dishes afterwards and do my laundry after that, for my clothes will be dirty.

oh and after that could you please do my ironing
viết bởi LawAustin 03 Tháng một, 2008
opposite sex of the male, females love pink, males love blue. guys love bugs girls love dresses.

GIRL: like ew what the fuck, i hate bugs.

BOY: i hate dresses?

GIRL: why?

BOY: because...just.....wear pants!

viết bởi Marissahhhhhhh 10 Tháng bảy, 2008

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