Ah, Linux,
The April fool's joke of the computing world and an embarrassment to the open-source philosophy. The brat that hasn't learned to shut the fuck up and do something more productive to its cause. The hacking tool used by script kiddies who think they are "l337 haxors" after typing 10 lines of code in Pearl. A prime example of how group-think leads to less productive activity. Communism in electronic form. Now Im sure we all have by now heard the same old cliches about old Tux being the best thing since sliced bread, but eventually, they just beg to be examined a little more, as follows.

1) Linux is free.

And I'm the king of Peru. If it really is free, then the Linux sites would have no pop-up windows and ads asking for donations. Getting Luddix may be "free", but having to end up buying up to $200 worth of new hardware just to run a computer at 1/20 the speed of Windows 95 throws the whole concept of free out the door.

Also the "Free as in Beer" line is pure bullshit, because the can of Budweiser I got at the store cost me $1.39, and it costs money to get whole-grain wheat flour to create home-brewed alcohol.
And no, dumb-ass, speech is not free either. If you don't believe me, try going up to a cop and string some four-letter words in his face, nd see if he will respect your freedom of speech.

2) Linux is fast and does not contain bloat-ware like Micro$hit Windoze.

If you think Microsoft Windows is bloat-ware, you haven't tried Red Hat, ELX, or SusE, because THOSE define bloat-ware. Up to 7 CDs full of useless junk right there. And Luddix is fast alright, compared to the time it takes for Neptune to circle around the Sun. And you won't believe how much RAM a typical Lunix distribution gobbles up. Better make sure you have an extra 512MB stick of RAM handy. (Note: If you want to see a fast operating system that's not Linux, check out BeOS at www.bebits.com. Now THAT, my friend, is fast!)

3) Linux gives you choices.

That would have been fine if there were 4 distributions. Hell, that would have been okay if there were 9 distros. But 300 distros is fucking insane, especially if 293 of them suck shit through a straw.

4) with Linux, you have a wide variety of GUIs and applications.

Yeah, too bad they are all poorly-designed, and look like ripoffs of anything that Microsoft or Apple makes. Not to mention, having to type 30 fucking lines of code just to get the program to open is pure joy.

5) 2005/2004/2000/1999/1998: The Year of the Linux Desktop.

The year came and went, Windows and MacOS logos are still flashing on the screens of those who are not blessed with the faggotry of geekism. Where oh where did Tux go? The kernel that every computer "expert" hyped would be the killer of Micro$oft? Surely Walmart can't hold up the weight of the Linux community with its $300 Linspire boxes (which end up being a dirt cheap way of installing Windows on a new computer) Looks like the Lin-zealots lied to us again, which is typical of those bastards. And it's also hard to believe that it's been over 10 years, and the fucking penguins STILL haven't created anything that even Apple would give a shit about.

6) Linux is more secure and easier to improve than Windoze.

Until the terrorists, cultists, and malicious coders get their hands on Lunix. If they haven't already. After all, it is open-source, and by definition, open-source means that everybody gets to contribute their input into the kernel.

7) The Linux community is willing to lend a helping hand to those not familiar to the kernel.

If a helping hand means,
(a) telling grandma to RTFM and
(b) posting 9 spelling-error-filled pages of insults, death-threats, and jokes about gay sex/male body parts/fairy-tale creatures on a Linux message board because she politely asked how to get her sound card to work,
then surely the Luddix community is the most generous group in the world.

8) Linux is more stable than Windoze

I like that, plus the fact that you can't run anything without 200 dependencies (see dependency) or 30 lines of code.

Now that we're done breaking down the crap, here are some things the Lunatix community has no choice but to fix, if they ever want old Tux to be on more than 0.0003% of all desktops.

1) GET RID OF X! It is a waste of resources and useless as a desktop GUI. At least the guy who created Damn Small Linux had the right idea, and as a result, created a distro that actually isn't bloat-ware.

2) Get rid of all those useless fucking window managers and themes. They add more bloat to the system.

3) Get rid of the snobs, l337 haxors, and religious extremists in your midst. If you ever wonder why nobody is using Linux, it's because these bastards are the loudest and rudest of the bunch.

4) NO MORE TARBALLS OR COMPILES! The software should already be compiled BEFORE it is released, because that's just pure fucking laziness and the programmer deserves to be hanged.

5) Rewrite the entire Lin-architecture so that programs don't need 200 fucking dependencies just to work.

6) Rewrite the entire Lin-architecture so that it doesn't require a 5-hour compile whenever an updated of a text-editor/MP3 player/Tux-Racer game is installed.

7) GET THE FUCKING HARDWARE TO WORK! If the "Winmodem" works on a FreeBSD box and a BeOS box with generic drivers, then there is no excuse for the modem to not work under Linux.

8) Standardization is good, especially when it comes to file packaging and installation.

9) Get rid of all the useless fucking distros that are clogging up the Internet. Nobody is going to use 290 of them anyway, so you might as well just band together and focus your talents and resources (and MY donation money) on the 10 most used distros.

10) Make the emulation PERFECT! If WINE promises to emulate Windows programs, then it damn well better emulate every piece of Windows-compatible software sold at Office Depot or Electronics Boutique. Failure to do so is unacceptable and will result in the purchase of a real OS (Windows XP).
If Average User Joe has to spend 5 hours downloading a 3-CD Linux distro from your crappy servers or end up shelling out $50 to $180 at Best Buy for the same distro because (a) the servers are not available or (b) don't exist, then Joe expects that distro to (1) install flawlessly, (2) work right out of the box, and (3) support all his hardware. If said Linux distro violates any of the three expectations, then don't expect Linux to succeed.
viết bởi Tirk Dogg 28 Tháng hai, 2005
A free, stable OS that will do the job of $1200 worth of Windows Server.
People who run Linux are doing the world a favour by giving Microsoft a reason to get their head out of their ass and actually write code.
viết bởi Joe Montmatre 25 Tháng tám, 2003
This thread really needs to be fucking sorted out. Linux is an operating system that some people use as an alternative to Windows. When I was at university I used it and it never crashed on me, and it could perform operations that Windows heads could only wet dream of. That is, operations that you'd have to perform if you were using a computer on a "professional" level. It's good for the techie stuff but Windows is best for general things, IMHO. I run XP on my computer at home and it works good enough for me... the previous versions didn't though.

Both systems have their good and bad points so stop acting like five year olds with your dumb little one upmanship. You'll be saying "my dad could have your dad" next. Or maybe that was last week.

And the pronunciation is "lin-uhckz", not "linn-ix".
Linux is an operating system
viết bởi saucy 17 Tháng tám, 2003
The Operating System that POWERS urbandictionary you assholes.

Go on to www.netcraft.com
Then look up "www.urbandictionary.com" on the web server search. I see SEVEN linux servers, and 2 netbsd/openbsd servers.

I was able to install Mandrake Linux on my computer without any help, BECAUSE I RTFM! Like when I first installed WINDOWS!!

All the people who said shit about linux either:
1) Heard about it from Microsoft
2) Heard about it from SCO
3) Heard about it from some anti-linux group.
4) Saw a friend use Slackware
5) Saw a friend use the terminal.
6) Tried using Slackware as their first distro.

Linux is a great computer for all uses except crashing on you.

Ubuntu, Suse, Mandrake, and MEPIS are great linux distros that offer excellent user friendliness WITH GRAPHICAL TOOLS. So you don't even HAVE TO USE THE FUCKING TERMINAL!!

Only thing you can't do is run Windows stuff, like WINDOWS AIM, and WINDOWS EXPLORER, so don't even try doing stupid ass stuff.
Dumbass:: Linux sucks because there's no aim client.
viết bởi tsphan 02 Tháng mười hai, 2004
An extremely stable Operating system, and drives server/networks like a dream, due to hardly ever going down, or having to reboot, can stay up for years due to its rock solid code.

Also, the only thing which stands between Microsoft and World Domination.

Microsoft programmers also make their programs/OS's on Linux boxes....
Microsoft tried to dominate the world, but Linux jumped up and stabbed them in the face.
viết bởi Cloud 20 Tháng bảy, 2004
A kernel (NOT an operating system in and of itself) used to power the GNU operating system components. This makes up a relatively stable, free operating system known as GNU-Linux.
Linux, free as in speech (and hopefully beer!)
viết bởi NoOneSpecial 11 Tháng một, 2004
(1) An operating system created and used by literate people with functioning brains.
(2) An operating system subject to bashing by people who dont fit in the above category.
Wow, Doom 3 Alpha runs even faster on my Linux box! What? You're rebooting your XP machine to install the game? Oh thats a shame...
viết bởi howey 03 Tháng bảy, 2003
An OS that rarely crashes, runs on most hardware (yes, even that 486 you can get cheap from a blowout sale), and is the thing the Beast of Redmond (Microsoft) fears most. It's also the cheapest OS you'll ever buy.
Once switching to Linux, I never looked back.
viết bởi Derleth 05 Tháng chín, 2002

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